What's in a name...

When I started this blog over a year ago I thought that writing about my life as an army wife was a great idea. Having never been an army wife before I was almost certain that I would have these stories that others would want to hear and quickly come up with advice that may help others. Unfortunately I realized very soon that wasn't the case. The new title of my blog was inspired by the first post I did. I am still an army wife and until I figure out what my advice is for other army spouses I'll continue to write about what I know best...my perfectly imperfect life. Start following me and I promise we will share moments of laughter, sadness & happiness.

An Army All Our Own

The last 3 1/2 weeks since we lost our angel Averie has been those of sadness, fear, and breakthroughs. Amongst all these emotions it's also been one of amazing miracles, support and love. When Zach and I went to the emergency room in the early hours of February 12th we were scared and very much alone being hundreds of miles away from our loved ones. Little did we know that an army of support was building all over the nation for us. From the hospital staff that held our hands during such a difficult time, to our family that flew out hours after hearing of our loss, to my husbands Army leadership, our family back home, and the amazing amount of strangers that have showed us their love. Life threw us into battle, a battle we were not expecting and defiantly not equipped for on our own. Luckily we were not forced to fight this battle alone. The amount of gratitude we feel in our hearts is over flowing and to just say "thank you" seems like it's not enough. My sister Vanessa and best friend Ashley printed and mailed us every comment that was made on Facebook and Instagram so that we would be able to read the kind words and feel the love and support whenever we need to. Although family has gone home and we still find ourselves hundreds even thousands of miles away from loved ones, I close my eyes and picture our army behind us. Equipped with their love and support ready to go into battle with us whenever we need them. That picture puts a smile on my face and feels my heart with so much peace. Whether you lent your support through kind words or reached out to us personally we would like to THANK each and every one of you from the bottom of hearts. Your love and your support has not gone unnoticed and we love each and every one of you.

XOXOXOXO Crystal, Zach, Pistol the min pin & Averie our angel <3

My Imperfectly Perfect Life

Today I actually made the decision to start writing posts on this blog that I created almost a year ago. Why did it take me so long? Some things I have a tendency to be a perfectionist at and if things aren't completely lined up in my head, or I don't feel like I have the perfect post, then I just decide not to do it. Today is different though. I am learning that it's ok to not be perfect. To not have every little thing planned out for things to work out. You would have thought I would have caught on to this thinking months ago. The last year of my life has been nothing but surprises. My husband and I eloped last April and that was by far the most unorganized thing I've ever done. My sister Vanessa and I packed my car and took the 3 day drive clear across the country with my belongings shoved into the back (and some tied on the roof!!) After arriving in town we spent a day in a hotel and then moved into our place the next day. My husband was living in the barracks as a single soldier so he had no furniture and I had sold all of mine to get out there. A quick trip to Walmart bought us a few air mattresses and some necessities. That Saturday we drove to a park in an unfamiliar city and met a very nice man and his wife, that Vanessa had lined up, to marry us. April in New York is still very cold and we all shook like leaves from the cool air. Right before sunset, in a dress I bought for $200, we were married. Our ceremony was quick, I had no flowers, and the only witnesses were my sister Vanessa and my husbands best friend. Our photographer was a mix of the two and my personal camera. I look back on the day and think of how imperfectly perfect it was. I wouldn't have had it any other way. At that moment, admit the craziness, I was married to the man of my dreams, who at that point I had searched for for 32 years. I didn't care I didn't have a big wedding, I wasn't sad there wasn't any cake and my hands didn't feel empty without a bouquet to hold. Instead, holding my new husbands hands and looking into his eyes, realizing we were starting this amazing journey together was enough. I woke up this morning, 9 months later, and watched him sleep for a moment. We have already been through one deployment, almost made it all the way through a pregnancy, survived a few chaotic moves and here we are still standing. Life isn't perfect, but I don't want perfect I just want my crazy unpredictable life.