Saturday, January 24, 2015
Today I actually made the decision to start writing posts on this blog that I created almost a year ago. Why did it take me so long? Some things I have a tendency to be a perfectionist at and if things aren't completely lined up in my head, or I don't feel like I have the perfect post, then I just decide not to do it. Today is different though. I am learning that it's ok to not be perfect. To not have every little thing planned out for things to work out. You would have thought I would have caught on to this thinking months ago. The last year of my life has been nothing but surprises. My husband and I eloped last April and that was by far the most unorganized thing I've ever done. My sister Vanessa and I packed my car and took the 3 day drive clear across the country with my belongings shoved into the back (and some tied on the roof!!) After arriving in town we spent a day in a hotel and then moved into our place the next day. My husband was living in the barracks as a single soldier so he had no furniture and I had sold all of mine to get out there. A quick trip to Walmart bought us a few air mattresses and some necessities. That Saturday we drove to a park in an unfamiliar city and met a very nice man and his wife, that Vanessa had lined up, to marry us. April in New York is still very cold and we all shook like leaves from the cool air. Right before sunset, in a dress I bought for $200, we were married. Our ceremony was quick, I had no flowers, and the only witnesses were my sister Vanessa and my husbands best friend. Our photographer was a mix of the two and my personal camera. I look back on the day and think of how imperfectly perfect it was. I wouldn't have had it any other way. At that moment, admit the craziness, I was married to the man of my dreams, who at that point I had searched for for 32 years. I didn't care I didn't have a big wedding, I wasn't sad there wasn't any cake and my hands didn't feel empty without a bouquet to hold. Instead, holding my new husbands hands and looking into his eyes, realizing we were starting this amazing journey together was enough. I woke up this morning, 9 months later, and watched him sleep for a moment. We have already been through one deployment, almost made it all the way through a pregnancy, survived a few chaotic moves and here we are still standing. Life isn't perfect, but I don't want perfect I just want my crazy unpredictable life.