Mother's Day

I knew that Mother's Day would be a tough one. Just like my due date and other significant dates that will come up. I had high hopes that I would be happy and wouldn't be effected by the fact that it was a day to celebrate Mother's and the one thing that made me a mother was not with us anymore. My friend Rhonda put it perfectly in her Facebook post "This can be a hard day for some mother's and a joyous one for others. We hope you all have a wonderful day and find joy in something". After I read this it made me think. While my baby is not here with me I am still a Mother. I was still able to get pregnant and to carry this tiny little angel inside of me for 8 months. I was able to give birth to her and hold her in my arms and feel her sweet little spirit. She may not be with us right now but from the moment she was created she made me a Mom. With that I felt grateful and blessed because unlike many women that are never given the opportunity to have children I was at least given that. Life is hard and sometimes things happen that are unexplainable and will be the hardest things we will ever go through but something positive can always come out of it if you allow it to. My baby is gone and I will never hear her call me Mommy but she is mine and in the stillness of the night when I lay awake at night I can feel her next to me and I can imagine what her sweet little voice would have sounded like. I'm sure it would have been music to my ears. 

My Real Life Knight in Shining Armor - Ode to my Husband

The past week has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I have cried so much that at times I felt the tears would never stop and that I would forever feel the warmth of them drip down my cheeks. Life had caught us by surprise and had completely changed our course. Amidst all the heartache, the tears, fear and sadness there was one man, my man, that kept me sane and was my rock through it all. My husband. Most women brag about theirs because they provide for their families and they are great fathers etc. I was able to see mine in a way most women don't get to. His vulnerability, his pain and his strength during one of the most tragic times of our lives. He has been truly amazing. I look at him and I see, not only the man I fell in love with, but a bigger version of that man. I look at him with the most admiration and the most respect. I have always been in love with him but our relationship has been heightened and has been taken to a whole other level. I feel EXTREMELY fortunate to be married to a man that is so selfless, loving, caring, protecting, strong, vulnerable and to put it simply...amazing. My husband not only provides, is an outstanding father, loves me unconditionally but can stand tall along side me in the face of tragedy. I am beyond proud to call him mine. My real life knight in shining armor.